Will be going to the airport in a few hours time. Spent the whole day at home, it's raining - as usual. Really sian, but I've got no choice. Will be back in about 3 weeks time. By then, guessed I would have changed somehow.
明天，我就要去文萊了。心裏難免有點不開心。原本約好一些朋友去看電影，可是其中的一位看過了我們想看的電影。我們也搞不定要做什麽好。最後，沒去。然後想出去走走一下，可是下午下了一場雨，也沒去。看到雨，心裏想只希望文萊的雨不會太大。聽説在文萊年尾時，每天都會下雨——下雨量非常大。這幾天有很多的“本來”，本來想這麽做，但是最後總是有出入。本來想出去，後來下雨改變主意。這些改變讓我想到一首歌。歌詞講到 “生活一而再地阻礙我們。儘管我們嘗試但最終的計劃總是被改掉” (Life keeps getting in the way. Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged.)《Gotta Go My Own Way - Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron》最近心情不是很好，所以一直在聼較傷感、較emo的歌。又是呆在家的一天。
I am going to Brunei tomorrow. Not feeling very happy about it. Wanted to watch a movie with some friends today, but one of them had already watched it. We couldn't figure out what else to do, so nothing worked. So I decided to take a walk outside for a change, but it rained in the afternoon, didn't go either. Looking at the rain, I just hope that the rain in Brunei won't be too big. Heard that in Brunei, it rains every day during the year-end. Seems like these few days a lot of plans were changed. Wanted to go out with my friends, but something cropped up. Wanted to go out for a walk, but it rained. Reminds me of a song, "Life keeps getting in the way. Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged." (Gotta Go My Own Way by Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron). Not feeling very good these days, so the songs I listen to nowadays are quite sad and emo. Another day spent at home.
Just feel very sian today. Went to Holland Village with mh, qxls & ljls. Been a long time since we've done that. Felt quite happy about it. But I was very distracted on my way home. I can't seem to get my heart to settle down.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
@
6:45 pm
On my way to Brunei
I'm currently 3 days away from Brunei. I got my off-in-lieu since Wednesday; stayed at home the whole day. Yesterday, went out with the bitch club members to VivoCity. Hm, after so long, Joanne and Serene still seem the same. I apologise that I forgot that they have already started university life and the campus they are in. I guess I have lost touch with the outside world. Then they mention to me that I have "no life". Hah. I guess I wasn't wrong about myself on that.
They asked me why I didn't catch up with the other girls and guys in St Andrew's. I couldn't quite answer that question. I quietened for a while, thinking, wondering how was I suppose to answer them. I just said I was busy. Then the subject changed. So I followed suit. Their question was quite thought provoking. I still can't quite answer it.
Although this week in camp was a short one, even unhappy events can happen within this 2 days. I was bringing my platoon to the cookhouse for lunch. As usual, they just refuse to march properly. And it so happen that rsm was looking in our direction. After scolding me and wj, he warned us that if this happened again, both of us will join the platoon in defaulter's(?) parade. At that point of time, I was not only disappointed with my platoon, but also myself for not being able to control my platoon.
I face a very real problem: I have to be able to control my platoon. At least my section has to listen to me. Otherwise, I will have a very hard time in camp. I reflected upon myself, wondering if I have been too nice to them - to the point they don't respect me. I contemplated a lot on how I should face them or treat them. jj suggested that I face them as myself, no putting on of a mask or playing "bad guy". But, I am still not sure. I didn't book out of camp feeling good. At the same time, I am worried about Brunei. Unlike Taiwan, I am there not as a trainee, I have to look after my section as well. jy then told me about his friend who was there for only 10 days and got injured. He was pierced by a thorn around the eye and had to make his way to the next checkpoint bleeding. 10 days and 3 weeks are quite different. I just hope no such thing will happen.
I am happy that I am in good terms with my fellow sect comds. They often help me, especially wj. I am very grateful for his help, especially in taking care of the platoon when I am busy with admin.
I planned to go out with my friend today, but something cropped up. In the night, I was supposed to practice a song with lw, but he also had something on. Stayed at home whole day, very sian. Have been staying at home stoning these few days. Don't know who to find.
Very thankful to all those who approached me about my previous post. I know that complaining won't help anything, and I am trying to be positive.