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我好像很久很久沒有沒有發表文章了。可能這一個半年懂得如何壓抑吧？也不知道怎麼度過，大概是靠主恩和受他人的禱告托住吧。越來越覺得自己生活很乏味，自己性格無趣，而或許因此導致自己沒有交往的對象。好不容易有時間在假期可以作自己想作的事，但赫然發現我沒事做。你會意外嗎？我想了老半天，度過了幾天，還是愣愣地呆在家裡，無所事事。
我好像除了教會里的朋友之外，跟其他人沒有什麼交情。想出去走走，正好教會朋友不是出國，就是工作、服兵役，也不知道找誰好。其他朋友，不知道怎麼開口，怕麻煩人家。有時候真的很想很瘋狂地過我的人生，放膽地去玩一場，但話說回來，跟誰？誰會陪我？雖說我不喜歡去夜店，但心想可能那種生活或許能滿足自己的虛榮心。至少不會覺得自己生活那麼乏味。很快學校要開課了，我在這整個假期里，好像並沒有成就什麼。
發現自己是一個很怕寂寞的人，很怕無聊的人。希望我能夠找到紓解壓力，放鬆心情的方法，填滿我空虛的心靈。不然我真的快瘋了……
Chinese to English.
Seems like I haven't posted in my blog for a long long time. Maybe I found a way to suppress my feelings these 1.5 years? I don't even know how I manage to hang in all this while, probably by the grace of God and through the supplication of others. I think I really have no life, and I'm not the very "happening" sort. Maybe that's why I haven't found my life partner yet. Finally found some time in this holidays to do what I want, but shockingly realise I don't know what to do at all. Are you surprised? Just lazing through the past few days, thinking hard what to do, but nothing. Zilch.
I don't really have many close friends outside of church. Wanted to go out for a walk, but my church friends were either overseas, working, or in NS. As for my other friends, I don't know how to ask them, in fear of troubling them. Sometimes I just feel like living a frivolous sort of life, to just play and enjoy as much as I can. But then again, with who? Can't do that alone. I don't like clubbing per se, but sometimes I wonder if that kind of lifestyle would be enough to fulfil my vanity and superficiality. At least I won't be so "no-life". Schools about to start, yet in this whole holidays, I haven't accomplished much.
I hate to be lonesome, hate to have nothing to do. I really hope I can find some way to release stress and relax; to fill up my empty soul. Otherwise, I think I'll go crazy...