finally, it's the last day of the prelims. Don't really know whether I'm suppose to be happy because this only means that A levels is up next.
Sianz.Suddenly wonder the fragility of life, and all the mishappenings that have been appearing. Quite a few people died these two years that are related to me directly or indirectly - by age, school, religion, friend, or relative.
Found out the reason why some of them died (other than disease-related or natural ones) and just feel sad, for them. Sometimes, I find it understandable for their decision regardless of how stupid it was. But I guess, under severe stress and chronic depression, no one thinks straight. No one bothers about rationale, why suicide is a stupid choice, no one cares about the world. About the vj boy who killed himself, heard from my friend, who seeks the same psychologist as him, he didn't kill himself because of his genitals were like what
the media said (exaggerated) in his will. Possible reason he stated it because it was just one of the things that was going through his mind at that time of severe depression. He refused medication, and obviously when he was writing his will, he wasn't thinking straight. Wrote that in his will and the media made a big hooha (realise that hooha
is a proper word, in british english) about it. Whatever lah. I think the media is horrible. However juicy this news is, the boy is still under 18. I think his privacy should be respected the least, that he is still considered a junior or minor. You think about it yourself. Who will kill himself
just because his genitals are too small?
Obviously there are so many attributing reasons to it. I believe you have experienced it before and you would agree with me it is rare that you become depressed due to a
single reason. Usually it's a whole lot of problems happening all at the same time, you feel helpless, you feel lonely, you want care, concern, from people that you feel you should get them from (but you don't). You shout, scream, cry, to no avail because the problem is not solved by doing so.
So why must the media exaggerate the genitals portion of his will. And not look into other areas, like his social life, his stress level, his family problems, his self-image in terms of his emotional, (in this case) physical, or even spiritual sense. Is the human mind is
so simplistic? We are not animals. We don't live to eat, reproduce and die.
Apparently, when one is in severe depression, he does not think straight. Believe me, so what if no one
felt that he showed no symptoms of suicidal thoughts. He would have showed it but the world around him is just too oblivious to it. To wait till his death, then say that "it was so sudden" is just an excuse. An excuse to cover up how indifferent the world can be to anyone's emotional needs. However, it's not the world's fault. Everyone is just too busy with whatever they have to do; work and studies. Who can afford to be sensitive? The only entitled people to be sensitive are irritating girls, and gays. Girls who are over-sensitive are considered irritating or even ridiculous. Guys who are over-sensitive are just gay. Who wants to be sensitive?
Please don't be fooled by how simplistic the human mind is shown by the media. Drama serials are drama serials because they are
drama. News are news because they are of worth mentioning to get attention, an audience. A simple emphasis on an aspect of life, such as those touched on, by drama serials, like divorce, marriage, suicide, does not illustrate enough how complex the process is. Divorce don't happen overnight like how drama serial portrays it. Drama serials don't show the element of time. The in-between process that drive one up to a decision; tragedy or happiness.
The world is obsessed with results, while the involved party is with process. When you don't get results in your exams, do your future employers care about the hard work you put in? NO. You are the one that is frustrated, angry about how hard you studied but to no corresponding result. When someone commits suicide, do onlookers bother about the process why it led to this outcome? NO. They only know, can talk about the immediate cause, the appeared reason. The one who is dead,
is the one who is grieved by the process he has gone through. The sadness he went through till he made is decision.
I am not promoting suicide. I just feel that we should investigate, and understand the process that led to this outcome. Not just be obsessed with the result -
all to
prevent similar occurances, similar possible re-enactments. But then again, this requires someone who is
sensitive. Ironic.
Realise this has nothing to do with my title - chem 1. But it's sad, and depressing the world is screwed up; imperfect. And we are in it.
By the way, blogger is down for 15 minutes on 19 sept, 3 am (singapore time) as noted on
status.blogger.com.