just finished my piano exam... screwed up the whole thing... examiner din use pedal.. i actually said she used it... she got a shock... i also got a shock... so embarassing... haiz... fail liao lorh.... next year must try again... sian sia... dun even noe whether i will have the time to do handle all this stress again... moreover... next year got block test...
feel so slack these few days... its like i haven't done anything at all... feeling like a dead fish... dun want to do anything... cannot do anything... promos coming liao... i still so blur about all my subjects... no time to study... no mood to study... dunno what's wrong wif me also... juz want to laze around do nothing... but got so much things to do...
went around reading some of my friends' blog.. suddenly find them very depressive... hm... what happened... seems like the blog only writes their troubles and anger... saddening to see them like tt lah.... i mean see them usually very cheerful one... but deep inside full of grief... no where to vent frustrations... hm... am i thinking too much...?
but at least i saw one happy entry... dotz.... haha.. good for him lorh....
maybe i dun disturb those ppl liao... every time go sch make a nuisance out of myself... forming a bitch club and being a member of it.... haiz.. fun is fun lah... but i find myself irritating ppl for my own leisure/entertainment... quite bad lah... but i dunno lah... sometimes i really find the class too quiet.... everyone's juz in their depressive moods... studying..... sometimes some bitching can add life to de class... haha... but well... dunno what's the response lorh...
i really hope i can enjoy my jc life lah... but it seems like i am asking for a lot...
feel quite bad actually.. sports club fairwell party for jc2.. i have to leave early... it seems like i can never make it for any sports club event... the camp lah... which was a very very good time for bonding and knowing each other... i cannot go... before that... canoeing... i also din go... now the fairwell party also i cannot go for the full thing... every time after sports club meeting also have to rush off to other places for bible study lah... or cg meeting.... cant stay for long.... relations in sports club also not say very gd... every time go there also dunno who to tok to.... who i can clique with... juz go there tok to myself... then everybody there think i am a loner..... wah liew.... what can i do rite... all of u all in ur cliques liao... i only can feel left out.
dunno lah... feel like everything is not going very well for me now lah... only can pray that God will make a way for me... where there seems to be no way... my piano exam... retake lorh.... studies... see how lah... got time to study zai shuo... relations in sports club... i cant do much now... too late liao... church stuff.... zou yi bu kan yi bu lorh..... wo mei zhe liao....
sianz....